1. Fellow riders who stand in front of the control panel so you cannot see if your floor has been pressed.
2. Personal space invaders, especially when the lift is empty. Shift.
3. Studious eye contact avoiders.
4. Inane chat between fellow riders.
5. Those who press the wrong floor, then laugh at how scatty they are. Hilarious.
6. Body odour.
7. Those who try to get in before you have gotten out. Wait. Your. Turn.
8. Those who hold the doors open to finish a conversation. Get out.
9. Those who stand in front of you and refuse to move when you want to get out. Lemme out.
10. Door hurlers who arrive just as the doors are closing but insist on getting that lift, thereby delaying everybody.
11. Jumping up and down. Get a life.
12. The voice of the lift lady who tells you to have a nice evening when you have only popped out to get a sandwich because you are working late. F_ck you.
© 2010 Wilma Kay
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